Still here

is it life that taking us away from blogging? or are our minds got tired and sick of writing about the same stories again and again? I used to have the spirit of sharing ideas, thoughts, ambitions and hopes for a better future..but really sometimes I feel like I don't have those motivations anymore.
sometimes we feel empty? do you feel the same thing from time to time?
life is too short to spend it like this way but we have no other option.
the situation here in my country is the same, nothing changed since 2003 but everything is getting worse. security, services, electricity, corruption, more useless checkpoints, traffic jams.
Each time I want to write I end up talking about the situation in Iraq, I don't want to be like this.
Tomorrow my friends and I will have a gathering, we all know each other since elementary school, I see some of them from time to time, but others I didn't meet them since years ago. I think we need to make a change and do some thing that makes us happy. I like family gatherings and meetings with friends. it bring back the memories of really good old days.

2011 Please Be better for Iraqis

I heard the news yesterday about assassinations took place in several areas in Baghdad, killing several people like officers, professors, engineers, It just took me back to 2005, 2006, and 2007. when we used to hear about the killing and assassination all the time, I remember I was going to my college in 2007, passing by the high way, we heard shootings, then the cars stopped, I heard a woman shouting, crying, I tried to see what was going on, someone killed her husband while he was driving the car and she was sitting next to him, I saw him lying his head a side and he was bleeding, just imagine that you start your today with a beginning like this.

Life is getting worse here, we wake up in the dark, go to work, stuck in a heavy traffic jam, then return home, stuck in a heavy traffic jam, wait for the national electricity to come so you can have hot water, and sleep, there is nothing to do, because you can do nothing while it is dark and there is no electricity. We are living in a developed cave, because we have TV, computers, vacuum cleaner, refrigerator, but you can't use them unless you have electricity. Thanks to Allah there are the local generators in each neighborhood that we must pay to have several hours of electricity per day, but still it is not the perfect solution.

I came here today and I know that I will only speak about sufferance, I remembered the old posts I wrote during the previous years, they were only about lack of security, lack of services, killing and sectarianism. I don't thing there will be a day I can speak about happiness in Baghdad. I spent the new year's eve at home with my husband, he was trying to connect to the internet, and I was trying to watch TV, the electricity was cutting and coming all the time, it was playing hide and seek, I managed some how to see how the world celebrating the new year with dancing, happiness and joy, they can have a list of things to do for 2011, but for me I can't, I can't write a list for things to do, for plans for the future because there is no future in Iraq, there is no hope for a better life. In Iraq you live only for the current moment, don't thing about next hour, you don't know what may happen in anytime.
I saw pictures of Baghdad in the new year's eve, it was dark, raining, empty and there was some military here and there.
So I feel like I'm living in a cave, and it is dangerous to go out..All Iraqis are feeling the same, but life can't stop, and only Allah and saving us.
Happy New year

some sad words from hell

The last few days have been horrible, it started since the last Sunday, it was my day off, my husband was out, he called me saying "check the TV news channels, there is something going on in Karrada, something about hostages in a church!", "what? no way I will check now." I said. I could not believe what was happening, it was like a dream, I was surprisde, we are living in action movie.

Later, I saw on TV that the hostages were released, and the terrorists were killed !! yes sure they were killed by their explosive belts!! killing dozens of innocent people with them.

I think this is the worst thing may happen in any country in this world, blood was covering the walls, ground, ceiling and chairs in the church, the smell of blood makes you feel you were with them, it makes you hear the sound of the crying baby which was killed by one of the terrorist in that day!.

We are tired of living this life, we are feeling strong only by our faith in Allah, he is protecting us, our prayers are taking the evil hands away from us. We are living in horrible situation, in violence, in terror, facing death, blood, bad news everyday since 2003 till this moment. I used to have hope for a better future, but realy after this bloody week my only wish is to be saved from the bombs and killers, I only wish that peace will full this country, the families will no longer loose their beloved ones..we are missing the main human right here, it is like hell.

I'm still here

It has been a very long time I know that and I feel shame, because since the first time I posted something here I decided to continue and write anyhting I want here and never stop. But After graduation from college, and entering a new chapter on my live by getting married and being a wife and getting a job, things became different, as I am trying to control my energy and time between my house, my self, my work.. for sometimes I felt like blogging is a time wasting, other times I feel it is part of my personality to speak and write and share.
Ramadhan passed so fast this year, I was realy hot and the electricity is still bad, the situation is really getting worse, we still have no good services in the country, there is no respect for human rights here at all, so why we are still living?
Life is difficult, if you don't make effort you will not get the thing you want, now I'm just convinced that I have to make my effort and never say I'm tired..now it is the time to use the energy I have in making good and usefull things.

رحلة الحصول على جواز جديد

اكو اشياء بحياة الانسان لمن يحجي عنها يتصور هي سهلة بشكل ، و طريقة الحصول على بعض الاشياء بسيطة و اصلا من حق الانسان ان يحصل عليه، الشي الي ردت احصل عليه هو جواز جديد، هذا كل الي ردته مو اكثر، بس ما تخيلت الطريق للحصول على جواز جديد من فئة (A) حيكون مليء بالعقبات، خاصة وية اصراري بعدم سلوك طريق اخر للحصول على الجواز مثل دفلع ميتين دولار و اشتري راحتي و راحة زوجي بدال البهذلة الي اكلنا صارلنا شهر من ورة مدير الجوازات الي ما ادري ليش وجهه ابد ما بي نور و (مبووم) كلش لدرجة الواحد يتكأب بس يشوفه.

اتصور الحصول على جواز جديد بأي دولة هو شي سهل، الا احنة بالعراق كلشي عدنا صعب خاصة المعاملات بالدوائر الحكومية، و الي صعب الموضوع علية هو شغلي و شغل زوجي يعني احنة ملتزمين بوقت عمل خومو نكضيها كلها اجازات لسواد عين مدير الجوازات، اول خطوة بديتها بتحضير صور معاملة، الجنسية و شهادة الجنسية و بطاقة سكن اهلي لان ماعندي بطاقة سكن جديدة و بطاقة تموينية مال اهلي لنفس السبب و شهادة جنسية بابا، و هوية زوجي و شهادة الجنسية مال زوجي و كلهم استنسختهم اضافة الى الصك من مصرف حكومي، و توكلنا على الله و رحنا. اول شي رحنا كال لازم تغيرين شهادة الجنسية مالتج، لان كاتبين بشهادة الجنسية اسمي الرباعي، (يعني اسمي و اسم بابا و جدي و جد بابا) و الجنسية كاتبين بس الثلاثي و لازم تتوحد لان راح تسبب مشكلة او هو ما راد يستوعب المهم انتظرنا اسبوع، و احنا عدنا يوم واحد بالاسبوع ما بي شغل، توكلنا على الله و رحنا لدائرة الجنسية و كل شوية صاعدين نازلين نازلين صاعدين، و كل واحد يكوللنا روحوا لفلان و رجعوا على فلان الى ان طفرت روحنا، و نبهناهم انو يكتبون الاسم الثلاثي فقط، انتظرنا استلام الشهادة و اذا بيها نفس الشي، كاتبين الاسم الرباعي، رحنا للمسؤول و كال مو مشكلة ابو انتوا ليش مهتمين، كناله ابو الجوازات هو هيجي راد، كال شعليه ابو الجوازات . المهم ..شخطوا الاسم بشفرة، و ختموا عليه و الحمدلله مشت المعاملة. و بعد اسبوع (يعني الاسبوع الثالث) اخذنا كل الاوراق مرة ثانية و رحنا للجوازات، من وصلنا للمدير كال ميصير، اني اريد بطاقة سكن الزوج لازم تكون موجودة اني شسوي ببطاقة سكن اهلج.! اللهم طولج ياروح الواحد شكد يتحمل؟

المهم، زوجي كال خلص بعد هذا دماغه قفل، خلي نحاول وية عمو (بابا) اروح وياه ، ورة كم يوم اني و بابا اخذنا اجازة و رحنا، كال المدير ميصير، لازم الزوج يكون موجود، و لازم بطاقة سكن الزوج و تأييد سكن من المجلس البلدي لمنطقة اهل الزوج (مع العلم اني و زوجي ساكنين بغير منطقة) و التاييد يكون بي صورة الزوج...لهنا كلنا هم ميخالف..

ورة يومين، رحنا للمجلس البلدي مال منطقة اهل زوجي، طلعنا تأييد سكن من المجلس البلدي مدري المحلي، و بي صورة زوجي الله يخليه و يحفظه، و اخذنا بطاقة السكن مال بيت اهله، و البطاقة التموينية و رحنا بيوم العطلة مالتنا الي هي الاسبوع الرابع من رحلة الحصول على جواز، و كلنا خلي نشوف شنو حجته هالمرة، حتى البنية الي بالتفتيش مال نساء تكولي انتي مو قبل يومين اجيتي ليش كل يومية جاية شنو القصة؟؟ كتلها القصة وية المدير. المهم رحنا و اذا بي يرجعنا لانو طلع ما يريد تأييد محلي بي صورة الزوج و انما تأييد محلي بي صورة الزوجة من منطقة اهل الزوج..عقدتها عليكم ادري بس ميخالف .

المهم بنفس اليوم رجعنا لبيت اهل زوجي، حتى نسوي التأييد، بس للاسف المكتب مسدود الصبح، عمي (ابو زوجي) الله يخليه وينطي الصحة خطية وكف ويانا و ساعدنا هواية هو تكفل بشغلة التأييد و سواه النا العصر، و احنة ثاني يوم من الصبح و قبل لا اروح للشغل، رحنا لبيت اهل زوجي جبنا التأييد، و رحنا للجوازات، و دخلنا و اخذ الفايل المدير المبووم و وقع عليه و كال روحوا للبصمات. طبعا اني بهاي اللحظة وجهي تشنج كله و لزمتني الضحكة و الابتسامة تكبر تكبر تكبر كلما اشوف الفايل يتقرب علينا و زوجي يركض بي للبصمات، كتله مدا اصدك، ما ادري هذا حلم لو حقيقة، زوجي يكولي اني فرحان عبالك فرحتي من جنا المحكمة نعقد قران. و رحنا بصمنا، و استلمنا وصل بعد عشرة ايام اروح اخذ جوازي.

يعني شفتوا رحلة العذاب؟؟ بطاقة سكن و بطاقة تموينية و شهادة جنسية و جنسية و تأييد؟ شنو هالعذاب و شنو هذا التعقيد كله؟ هيجي صار العراقي كلشي عليه صعب حتى الحصول على ابسط حقوقه؟ هي هذي قيمة الانسان العراقي حتى ما يتلقى تسهيلات من اي شخص ثاني حتى لو جان هذا الشخص هم عراقي و عايش نفس ظروفه؟؟

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

May 2010 will be the year of peace

I just woke up today, saying that's it, it is time to post something today. Many things happened in this year, some are bad, and some are good. We started this year with a high spirit, the security situation was settled, people started to go out, to retaurants, many new restaurants opened this year in different areas in Baghdad. Then, we rent a house and prepare it, and got ready to the wedding, my father had a surgery in his back and thanks be to allah that he is good now. Then we got married, it was one of the most important days in my life. and at the end of the year there was my sister engagement.
I learnt many new things in this year, I faced some difficult times, this is right, I couldn't organized my time and energy between work, house and my self. I felt I'm tired for long days, Sad, and have no will to continue, all I needed is to sleep. Time was my only enemy.
But finally, I got used to it, now I feel like I am the queen of my house, everything is arranged and in a good situation.
I have promised my self to do many things in 2009, but to be honest, I didn't achieve many things, so I hope this year will be the year of big and good achievements in my life.
let us all hope that 2010 will be good for all, especially for Iraqis. Let us pray there will be more peace in this world.
In this year, I will try to be stronger, more responsible, to focus, to read books, to cook good meals, to practice more sport...and more stuff. I hope I will do everything I want and I already planned for.
Happy new year to all of you..

It's my BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Yes, today is my birthday, I became 24 years old, I'm feeling happy, we will celebrate my and my husband's birthday the end of them week, we will have a famaily gathering in our house, this will be the fisrt family gathering that we hold after marriage, things will be fun as I feel.
I will add photos after the birthday party soon.
see ya later.